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NAIL
GUN MASSACRE
PLOT
A young girl is raped by a group of construction workers. Afterwards
someone starts hunting them down and taking them out with a Nail Gun.
REVIEW
You know, there are some movies that come along that are so bad it
boggles the mind as to how they got made. Troll 2 is one, Emmanuelle
And The Last Cannibals is another, now we have Nail Gun
Massacre, a movie
that is dire in every department. Firstly there is the script, something
which feels very repetitive, a girl gets raped, and people start getting
killed via nail gun, that’s about all that happens. We don’t even get any
main characters, no one to relate to, everyone kind of shows up for one
scene and dies in that scene, that’s about it, it’s ok to do that for maybe
four or five victims, but for EVERY victim? We do get a dumb ass cop and a
doctor who are out to solve the mystery that Chief Wiggim from The Simpsons
could probably solve. Then we have the dialog, our killer feels the need to
give off at least three cheesy bad jokes at each kill. One victim manages
to accidentally piss on the victim, only for him to reply “You’ve just
pissed me off” luckily for us pretty much most of the dialog is drowned
out by the sound track J.
Checking the credits there did seem to be a director, well actually TWO
directors which feels a bit off considering I felt the camera was on auto
pilot the whole time. We get endless point and shoot shots, no interesting
shots or neat camera angles, I don’t even think the camera movies at all
during any shot. I guess you can’t polish a turd which is pretty much what
the script is, but jeez, they didn’t even try. We get no sense of time in
the movie, after the rape we cut directly to a killing but have no idea when
this killing takes place, could be a year, could be five minutes later for
all we know.
The acting is bad, very unbelievable, the actors act as if they are having
problems reading their lines off que cards. No one is convincing and they all
look pretty board, could it be because no one is really given anything
interesting to do? At least a few actresses show up and start to show us their
tits, just to make sure we’re still awake. The best moments are probably
when someone finds a dead body, or sees someone getting killed, they act like
they’ve just witnessed someone trip over rather then die. This movie tries to
be a bit of a mystery but the killer is given away the second we meet the
person. Also we get what has to be the WORST closing line in movie history,
once the killer is dead one guys says “I’m glad the killing is over” only for
someone else to reply with “Is it over? Is it?” Well YES, the killer is dead,
(which by the way has to be one of the most retarded deaths I’ve ever seen EVER)
it BETTER be over. Can anything help this movie? Maybe a bottle of vodka.
The tag line to the movie reads “It’s Cheaper Then A Chainsaw” One wonders if
they are talking about the movie its self or the nail gun?
GORE
Not much, as the box cover promises people are pretty much nailed to trees,
nailed to the pavement and nailed to each other, with rubber nails by the looks
of it. We don’t really see much red though, the most gore is probably a chopped
off hand.
SOUNDTRACK
This has to be the best thing in the movie I mean it drowns out a lot of the
dialog, that has to be a plus. Over all the soundtrack isn’t very interesting,
the same thing is played over and over again but then again it DOES drown out a
lot of the dialog.
BOTTOM LINE
Skip it, unless you’re a die hard bad movie fan. Totally inept in every
department, some people may get a laugh out of it on a so bad it’s good lever
but that’s about it.
Review
By: Slasherfan
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