|
THE
BONEYARD
 
PLOT
Two policemen seek help from the psychic Deborah Bones to find
out who the three dead children that have recently been found are.
The three go down to the morgue to try to identify the kids but
it ends in disaster as the three kids have now turned into angry
flesh eating zombies. Trapped inside the morgue, a bunch of people
have to try to escape this living dead nightmare, but obstacles
are to be found just about everywhere.
REVIEW
To avoid fainting, keep repeating it's only a poodle, it's only a
poodle. This is the clever tagline for this monstrosity of a film.
I thought the idea of a mutant killer poodle was really cool, but
to my disappointment, there was no killer poodle except for in like
10 minutes at the end... tops! That however wasn't a bad thing.
For starters this movie was actually quite good, the zombie kids
were awesome and looked realistic and I was actually thinking of
giving this four stars. But then, when it hits the 50 minute mark,
it goes rapidly downhill as an old hag turns into a zombie, and
she looks about as realistic as the mother did in Braindead.
The acting is convincing enough, it's the bad special effects that
bring this movie down. Even the directing looks pretty good and
I bet that this didn't have an ultra low budget either. I can't
seem to be able to find any information about who did the special
effects for this movie, I guess he didn't want to be connected to
this after the terrible job that he did.
The Boneyard had a few similarities to Peter Jackson's Braindead
and I love that movie so I was bound to like this aswell. I think
that the only really big mistake this movie did was to throw in
that giant old lady zombie. The poodle would also have been quite
a nice touch if the poodle hadn't grown to an enormous monster.
If you turn it off after 50 minutes, this is at least a three star
movie, but if you keep on watching it after that, you will just
feel as if you've wasted your time. I couldn't decide if I should
give it 1 star or 2 stars, I'll give it two just because I liked
the first part so much.
GORE
A gooey green zombie mess is what this is. Lots of zombie goo but
not so much blood. We do get the occasional intestines and blood
splatter though so I can't really complain.
SOUNDTRACK
It does what it's intended to do, creates a great atmosphere and
some suspense with its classic bass and strings.
BOTTOM LINE
Not a total waste of time, except the last part. The first part
is quite awesome and I almost feel as if you should check this
out just because of the awesome beginning of this movie. I mean,
everyone loves deranged mutant flesheating zombie kids right?
Review
By: AnthroFred
|
