< <The Darkside of The Earth > >
greyzone
The Dark Side of the Earth
Posted 8-24-2001 18:41
There are times
when we feel out of sorts. But for some it is a severe affliction.
Some have this instability when the moon is full and the mind
feels pulled towards another reality and the body's proteins and
aminos reorder themselves resulting in repulsive growth of hair,
teeth and the like. But to this, my mind is only slightly
affected.
My problem is 'sunspots'. Yes, high sunspot activity! Great solar
flares! The bombardment of cosmic rays, intense electromagnetic
forces, deadly infared frequencies that are accelerated as they
flow around the planet's surface and, drawn in like a backdraft,
come crashing through the atmosphere on "The Dark Side of
the Earth"!!
To these pitiful beings like myself, their very molecules,
regardless of 'table of elements', are torn apart in a XZillion
nuclear blasts, resulting in mutated bodies and minds that are
impossibly incomprehensible to imagine except to any but their
other bros and sis! Even to the point that their souls themselves
have been set on fire!!
There is no rehab for these grotesques during this period of
solar activity, they avoid, in the extreme, encounters with
normal society, even the 'moon mad' maniacs! They are doomed to
remain on the "Dark Side of the Earth" trudgeing,
creeping, slithering, crawling, rockin n rollin, moshin and
headbangin, as the planet rotates, following the weary dark path
as it drags itself along the earth's surface.
I must admit, while there is still any humanity left in me, that
to my horror and disgust, I am degenerating. My 11 AM shadow has
now become a 9AM/3PM shadow. I am once again resembling a cross
between a dwarf cyclops, a camel, something slimey you would find
under a rock, a polish ogorski, 3 newfies, a so cal resident......You
guessed it!! I AM KWAZI MOJO!!??^%(*
Does any of this sound familliar to you Dark? (Herr Doktor Death,
die scheis*??!) You can tell me........................ >}-)
DMonkey
:-)
Posted 8-25-2001 19:01
Hey Greyzone! How
ya doin!? ;-) Great ta hear from ya, yer so charming!lol Do I
detect, in that soup ya call a mind, that you miss us?? Aawwww...ya
do doncha? We miss ya too Greyzone! :-(
...Don't we Dark!?? DARK!...%$#%&%@#!
Daaarrrkkkkk...where are yaaaaa!!???.....
Monkey! ]:-)
TheDarkOne
Posted 8-26-2001 23:53
GREY!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHO?WHAT?WHERE?
WHOA ITS GREY!!!
and i missed him can you believe it?!?!
damn that doctor death he had me all tied up and locked away in
this like...deep dungon and yeah thats it...thats was some good
stuff there man if only i could stay but running late!
i'll be back!
greyzone
Posted 9-21-2001 20:26
MOJO Risin'
I been gone and
come again! The darkness is still my refuge, but it sure makes it
a b*tch to chase up some food! The other day a thought came to me!
Some say that neccessity is the mother of invention but I say NAY!
You've got it backwards, mother is the invention of neccessity,
or was that mother is the neccessity of invention?!?........
Well forget all that, back to the brilliant plan. I went to the
darkest payphone I could find and ordered up an old, Italian
roman catholic family size, deepdish pizza, double the works,
hold the anchovies and a quart of beer. They were to deliver it
to the location of the payphone where I left the cash and a
generous tip! I removed myself from sight and watched the greasy,
son of a pizza maker bring the pizza to the phone, take the
money, tip AND THE DAMN PIZZA & BEER!!! #$@#!&*%(^^^)!!
>}-0
I called the owner and complained bitterly, he apologized most
sincerely and assured me that he would discipline his little brat
and send him back with another at half price as they don't offer
refunds. A deep guttural laugh from the back of my throat
delivered the words of my agreement.
This time I waited for him near the road where he parked before
and sure enough up he drove. He looked all around him before he
unlocked his door and despite his blackened eyes, swollen nearly
shut and the hasty stitch job across his forehead, he made his
way, swiveling his head from over one shoulder to the other, with
a great sense of foreboding! I quietly slithered into the
driver's seat, and as the engine was still running I waited for
him to go for the money.
NOW! I ground the sh*t out of the gear box, popped the clutch,
fan belts screaching like banshees, and out of a cloud of hellish
exhaust I had the little jerk in the sights of the hood ornament,
bouncing and crashing over the curb, and laid on the horn
AAYUUUUUUUGGGAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!
Kid flipped on the spot, knocked his head on the phonebooth! So
not only did I have my pizza and eat it too, I got my money back
with interest!!! >}-)
greyzone
Posted 10-29-2001 05:41
Trick or Treat?
BUUUUURRRRRRP! A
thousand pardons!! Forgive me if I have offended anybody, but
when you look like I do, you don't feel much better either, so
you take your pleasures when you can get it, or where you can
find it.
I don't know what's with the world these days, The sunspot
activity should have started to subside today, but for some damn
reason I've sprouted little wings from my shoulders, but they're
of no fuggin use at all unless you think gross is beautiful! Well
lets just hope that the least that will happen is, that they will
become something useful, so I can like, take off, eh? (that's
Canadian 'hoser' speak, idiots)
I came across a newspaper earlier, or rather while I was trying
to take 5 and rest my eyes, my head was collateral damage to the
careless aim of some crappin little paperboy. As it was still
dark, it might have even been a braindead papergirl, you can
never tell these days, they all look the same to me. Shoulda seen
whoever take off when they smelt me comin! >&-]
So when I'm in these kinda bored stupid moods, I start at the
back reading the classifieds. It might have been some kind of pre-Halloween
prank or something, but there was this want ad for 'person' to do
the night shift at a downtown all night grocery/beer/drugstore.
It was a Halloween promo doing a Santa sorta thing instead you
had to dish out candies, condoms and coupons and put up with the
little creeps doin a trick or treat number on you. You had to
supply your own creepy duds. This idea smelled of a little fun
with the added perks of substituting beer for the coffee breaks,
nachos, liquorice sticks and tylenol after the shift was through,
not to mention the bread!
I made my way from shadow to shadow, down all the back alleys I
could find, scuttling with the rats and slinking with the cats
til I reached the chainlink/barbedwire fence of my intended
employer. There was too much light for me around the front on the
streetside so I was trying to find a way to get over, through,
under this damned fence. This was beginning to pi*s me off and I
was starting to get into one Hell of a flap.....flap? Awright!!
By now I noticed my wings had become quite respectable, not too
mention very cool in a fashionable sort of way, rather gothic and
very black. I backed down the alley quite a ways so I could make
enough speed to get some lift under these wings, and after a few
test runs I figured I had it worked out. Only thing was, if I
managed to get over the fence I would have to flap like a bug*er
to brake in time so as not to crash into the back of the store.
Well the Wright Brothers I ain't, they didn't invent brakes on
lighter than air vehicles at that time. I'd like to think of
myself as the more Baron Von Richtofen type! [}-) A right nasty
but cool swashbuckler of the skies.
OK, time to start crankin. *plod...plod...plod..flap.plod, flap,
plod, flap, flap..... etc.* Dig it Daddy!!! We have reached
cruising speed and now we are beginning our final descent to the
fun, sun and sands, palms swaying to and fro in the ocean breezes.....
WAKE UP YOU IDIOT!!!!!! (very big) @%$*& CRAASSHHH *$@%^!!!!!
Too late.
"GOTT IM HIMMEL!!! Scheiss! Was ist los??!?" Vo ist
mien kopf??!?"..... OH YEECHH!! The stench is revolting,
even to me! What is this sh*t? Would you believe it! I'm in a
dumpster full of ofal!! I don't believe it!! God, the rotting
vegetables; moldey half eaten rolls; and what's this? Oh no, it's
the carcass of half a dog, and there's..... a plucked pigeon and
that's not the worst of it, sitting squarely on my head is a left
over of a fried rat! Surely this is not the refuse bin of my
intended boss. I must have miscalculated. This is the sleazy
little bar & diner nextdoor! I would report them to the
health dept. but they would never believe me. [|-P
TheDarkOne
Posted 10-29-2001 09:34
umm its gonna be ok man
your off your meds again arent ya?
greyzone
Posted 10-31-2001 07:18
Comin up roses
As luck would have
it, having hoisted myself up to the rim of the bin, there was
staring back at me, four very ugly thugs, you know the kind who
wear dark shades in the dark, and I thought I was ugly! Well I
was. They took one look at me, covered their mouth and noses and
staggered off blindly knocking all manner of containers and
creating the worst kind of racket. It was one of my proudest
moments and one of my most protected as well!
Taking stock of my situation, I knew that the only way out was to
go through the that booozy bean joint. I entered the back room to
find it hastily abandoned, with poker & blackjack tables
overturned, chips, cards and cash strewn all about, the
clattering of the marble ball in the still spinning roulette
wheel and more cash and chips. An overturned ashtray in the
corner was starting to set fire to dark curtain so I rushed over
and put it out, after all, I didn't need to have the whole block
burning down while I was going for my interview. I then stuffed
the cash into my pants, to pay for the drycleaning you know, and
went into the kitchen to see if I could find some disinfectant
gargle and some lysol deodorant.
It figures that the kitchen didn't have any disinfectant or any
cleaners for that matter! And the only deodorant was a bottle of
gin that the cook kept to fight off the bacteria! A couple of
swigs and all was right with the world again, so to speak.
By the time I got to the all nighter, There was a ragged looking
crew lined up, more like propped up, spilling out the door. A
finer representation of the dregs of the labourmarket you
couldn't find anywhere. I made my way to the front of the line,
which wasn't difficult, because, as each slug I passed, they
either fainted from disgust, or crawled off.
I could just see that the manager was interviewing a candidate,
who was showing the body language of success. >}-( The
interview had just concluded and the beaming little sucker was
being so patheticly fawning I wanted to puke! The manager came to
me with a somewhat puzzled look on his face wondering what
happend to the others he was going to disappoint. He apologized
but that the position had just been filled. I mean if I wanted to
dress up at Halloween like a feckless little turd, I just
couldn't!! Although if it's any consolation he thought my costume
was by far the most original he had ever seen or even ever
imagined, and believe me anyone who has seen what he has seen in
this place, even I had to take that as a compliment. I thanked
him and told him that I was just going to find some breathmints.
I moved behind an isle, out of view of the manager, and waited
for my quarry to pass by me. "Ahem" I said quietly. If
I wasn't holding him up by his lapels, he would have dropped to
the ground, fainted dead away. I shook him and he fainted again.
The next time he came to I quickly said to him, "Now that
you have a new job, I'm going to be your 'best' customer!!"
Muahahaha....
In his stupor and desperation to get out of there he knocked over
the cosmetics counter sending him reeling into the magazine rack,
and finally colliding with the manager who was incredulously
looking on. Needless to say it was a 'draw' that the nerd quit
and the boss fired him simultaneously.
By default and by the process of elimination, not to mention
logical deduction, I was offered the job!!!! >}-) Tonight is
Halloween!!!
~ TheDarkOne's Lyrics ~
~ * ~
Shunn Linn
A peasent girl in
war torn China
Taking her baby girl's and all she owned
to meet the man who would be her husband
but then the soldiers came...
she had no choice but to leave them
there at the side of the road.
poor Shunn Linn not knowing
if her baby girls were alive...
and the pain she felt was more then great.
the fear she felt was more then real.
and the tears she cried were more then i could bear
and the sadness she feels is killing her...
now in America living her dream.
a loving husband and new little daughter.
but her heart was heavy with the pain and grief.
that haunted day by the side of the road
that day that burns her soul...
she passed on now she is at peace
a letter came and her husband could not believe.
her little girl's were alive in China.
how sad for them that she is gone,
how sad for her that she died without knowing.
Copyright The DarkOne
~ * ~
Days Of Infamy
TheDarkOne's
Tribute to The Fallen
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