Texts of
the Demon's Monkey
as Related by Darth Cricket....continued
PART THE FIFTH
May 29/01
| The Minority,
as we shall call them, were trying very hard to supress
their excitement, partly because they were supposed to be
purely obvjective and secondly they did not see the point
of being sh*t on again by The Majority. Once again they
discovered a figure of a bird on a tablet that also
resembled one from the Mazda Plateau! (see fig 1) But
still they were eluded as to the third entity, whose
description was still shadowy and beyond deduction,
although it has been refered to many times in conjunction
with this 'Monkey'. |
|
Now there
was this matter of these fragments, that The Majority were too
'preoccupied', their word, to consider, but really too lazy to
try and piece together. They
believed in fabricating the 'Big Picture' first, then fitting the
details to it.
|
The Minority,
on the otherhand, were puzzle fanatics and could be heard
frequently muttering, "It's all in the details..."
They were often rewarded in this endeavour and in this
case pieced together a most perplexing conumdrum. There
was a series of notational patterns imposed upon a group
of four parallel lines and intervening three spaces, and every so often there was a primitive sketch of one to three moderately complex shapes, (see fig. 1-4). These inscriptions were obviously not communications of any that have seen before. Is it just possible that this was the communicating language between ET and our known subject?? |
|
|
|
Let's
return again to 3.5 million years BOT (before our time)...
Monkey wasn't impressed for long and once again planted The Thin
Copper Rod in the ground and announced her claim to these parts
as well.
"Not so loud! You're hurting my ears!" Poe's Raven
croaked, "I respect your claim, and let it be known to the
same, that I lay claim to the air, as befits my appendages!"
"Very clever crow." Monkey replied with undiguised
suspicion, "Anything else?"she taunted.
"No Ma'am, not on my life!" said Raven, knowing that
his hand, or claw had been called. "Bye the way, I was
admiring these marvelous things you invented." He
continued to fawn, "Do you do commission work?"
"That depends on the demands on my time, let me check my
calendar." she said. As Monkey sorted through various clay
tablets, she found it and thoughtfuly ran her claw
over it, made one circle, shut her eyes and brought it to rest.
"Ah...yes....a week Tuesday I can fit you in if you would
care to accompany me and my shadow on my
journey."
"A pleasure!" said Raven sensing an adventure. "And
maybe my services can be of use to you, not only in my musical
capacity, but also as a geographer in exchange for your artwork!"
Monkey
wasn't letting on how pleased she was, not only with the service,
but with the company and hesitated and fixed him with a shrewd
stare and said, "On one condition."
"Shoot!" replied Raven.
"I'm the boss and Supreme Commander of the Allied Cosmic
Forces." said Monkey with complete authority.
"Better you than me." assented Raven.
So for the next week the two they were enjoying a get to know you
session and lots of time for Monkey to make Raven a mug of his
own. When Monkey was finished she said to him, "I have a
surprise for you."
"Cool!" replied Raven, anticipating his masterpiece.
Monkey whips the cup from around her back and says, "Here,
with my compliments, signed and dated, 3.5 million years BOT!
It's already an antique!"
Now we're entering dangerous waters here 'cause that wasn't what
he was thinking, after all it should have been obvious how
impractical a mug would be to a bird.
"Ah...Monkey. I'm just too touched, it is totally awesome
...ah....but...how do I carry it around?" Raven was really
wondering how he could really tell her that he would
like a mini sculpture of himself that he could hang around his
neck. If he wasn't careful now, he'll have no neck at all!!
Monkey was too shocked for words! Can you believe that? What was
she thinking? She certainly wasn't thinking! Artists don't have
to think, right? It just happens
...right? Right!...IDEA!. She said to herself, "Now that I
have more than one, that means I have a surplus. And that being
so, maybe I can trade with the locals, if there are any. Hmmm..."
Raven was
getting very nervous because Monkey was silent for sooo long.
What horrid act is she contemplating? He was thinking maybe he
should slip quietly away. As he slowly moved, Monkey startled and
demanded, "Where do you think you're going?" Raven was
frozen to the spot in fear! "The good they die young!"
he said to himself and bowed gracefully to his fate. And before
he could beg for a painless death, Monkey said, "But of
course you are right! What was I thinking? You have given me the
key to Big Business! I will grant you your own choice just this
once. What do you want?"
"All I would really like, your most Potent Potentate
Plenipotentiary, is just an ever so small sculpture in the
likeness of me that I can hang around my neck in remembrance of
your generous majesty." saying this while bowing and
genuflecting backwards to a safe distance.
"So be it, it shall be yours!" Monkey said
magnanimously. And Monkey was good on her word and Raven was
happy as a lark!
"Well, I guess it's time to be off again." groaned
Monkey. The thought of lugging all these ballnuts and trade goods
around, weighed her down. "Before we go Raven, as a
geographer, where the Hell are we?" asked Monkey.
"Good question. Well you're on the Older Boy George River (3.5
million years later it is Olduvai Gorge), where the earth is the
closest to the sun and that is why it is so damn hot here, it
sure tans your knees eh? (3.5 million years later it is Tanzania).
In a few months we will reach the edge of a large sea, if you
will listen to your shadow's direction, and do a lot of trading
there and maybe even get rich!" exclaimed Raven.
"Does
that mean there are other critters besides me, you Squirrel and
those ants?" Monkey asked.
"Oh yes" replied Raven, "millions, of all
different sizes shapes and colours!"
"Really?" asked Monkey bug-eyed. "How come I've
never seen any of them in all the time and space that I have
expirienced?"
"They could hear you coming and have hid themselves until
you passed. They've been around you all along!" Raven told
her. This saddened Monkey a great deal because she was an
enlightened despot and had so much wanted to meet her subjects,
and Raven could see that so he added, "They would be lining
the paths and branches, strewing flowers and fruits at you ...er...
I meant to say before you and praising your name mightily but for
your blinding radiance and most terrible retribution! You have
thrown the fear of God into them!"
"Ohhhh... I like that, but I suppose if I wanted to sell to
my subjects I guess I should turn down the aggro and turn up the
charm." said Monkey.
"Exactly." said Raven.
Well it was one of those days on the road that Monkey was trying
again to muzzle it; practice, practice, practice you know. She
was reaching the threshold of her intolerance
when she got this sudden irresistable urge to vent her
frustration and to take up The Thin Copper Rod and start to swing
it over her head. As she swung it faster and faster,
a low sound could be heard, and as she swung it even faster, it
became even louder and higher and started fluctuating between two
different intervals, kinda like yodelling.
Monkey was entranced and Raven was jumping up and down on a
hollow log keeping beat.
Raven threw in some words, "Woke up dis monin' lookin' fo ma
shoes. Woke up dis monin' lookin' fo ma shoes. Monkeys and Raven
don got no shoes. Got nuttin' but dem
walkin' blues."
It wasn't
'til Monkey's paws started to sweat that The Thin Copper Rod
sliped out and sent her spinning out of control and colliding
with Raven and knocked the both of
them out! When they came to, Monkey knew that this must have been
some kind of mystic revelation as she was still seeing the world
in a completely new perspective.
They were still in their visions, delightfully staggering about
as if pleasantly intoxicated.
"Sh*t! We certainly banged our heads on that one!"
Monkey exclaimed, "We must do it again before we lose it!"
But Raven slurred. "We'll have to find your instrument
first, I don't know where you threw it. But hold on, that gives
me an idea! Let's find your instrument and I'll tell
it to you."
Eventually they found The Thin Copper Rod buried in an ant hill
and there was complete panic and terror amongst the tenants.
Monkey was almost overcome with the thought that she might be
feeling the slightest bit sympathetic with these ants and
thinking that she could remedy their plight by giving a benefit
concert. Her automatic thought would be to her benefit, but for
some reason, that didn't sit right. "Oh well," she
thought, "It'll give us a chance to play to a crowd, maybe
even charge admission for the restoration of their community and
damage to their nervous systems."
|
She discussed
this with Raven and he was very agreeable and he thought
that this might be the time to bring up his idea. "Monkey...
I was thinkin'. This music business is pretty hard on your Thin Copper Rod, and I know you like the psychotropic effects and all, but you could damage the Symbol of Authority, thusly bringing any gigs to a premature end which might cause riots and injury to your August Personage. So, I put together this cool gizmo that is not only more portable, but has a vast range of sound textures." (see fig 5) |
"For
years I've been collecting little bits of fibre and have
masticated and manipulated them in such a way that I have a very
long length of it wound up in a ball. I'v attatched it to this
unusual shaped piece of wood that I pecked out your name on, and
thought you'd like to give it a twirl."
"Awww, Raven! This is toooo much..." said Monkey with
some doubt. "OK, I'll give it a whirl."
She picked up the end of the fibre and tried to swing it around
her head but only succeeded in winding it around her body without
even moving the bit of wood, which she
tripped over. Sitting on her tough butt, she let out a
bloodcurdling screech, "SSKREEEECH!!! Do something you
stoopid bird!! Untie me you idiot! This is all your
fault!" Fortunately, it could have been a lot worse if
anything happened to be watching, but they were rehearsing in a
secret place where nobody could hear them.
Having
finally got their act together, an announcement was made that no
one couldn't hear, that there was to be a benefit concert at The
Hollow Log Club and that
addmission was 'pay what you can', no matter what! They came from
all around, critters in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colours,
and the ticket window was bursting with nuts, berries, succulent
shoots, roots, exotic leaves in various denominations, rocks,
sticks, air (can you believe someone got away with this?), water,
grass (WOWIE!)and all sorts of stuff.
This concert was an historic event of monumental proportions and
repercussions. Monkey and Raven were RAWKIN' with their hit tune,
"Monkey's Walkin' Black and Blues", and the vibes were
takin' off. Monkey was swingin' harder and harder;
the thrum was getting louder and vibrating in numerous pitches
simultaneously. It was sooo strange, everyone was either moshin'
or trippin' out! The climax was truly
spectral, the sounds were like voices of their long gone
ancestors, scolding them, yelling at them to wash their ears and
all sorts of mean things!! They even imagined
they could see them! (must have been the grass). They all freaked
out so bad they fled the area.
Monkey and Raven hadn't even noticed as they were both in
shamanic states. It wasn't until next day they came to with very
sore, dry throats and the most horrid of headache
and a message scratched on a piece of bark, "Thanks and YOU
RAWK!"
The news and reviews were phenomenal and for the remainder of the
journey, in a northerly direction, thank you Shadow, you rawk
too, they were wined and dined and offered all sorts of tempting
unmentionable delights in exchange for a few autographs, until
they finally reached the sea that Raven spoke of.
"Well Raven, funny how it happens, eh? We thought we were
cut out to be dealers in repros, but here we are, filthy rich
rawk stars! What say you we check out the local souvenir
shops?"
"Cool," says Raven "but don't get sucked in by
these critters. This place has a reputation that screams, 'We've
been gypped!' (3.5 million years later, Egypt).
to be continued... (believe it or not)
All material is
copyrighted by their respective owners and cannot be reproduced
by any form of media in whole or in part without permission. ©
2001, 2003, 2004, 2005
