Feature Fiction

Lily lowered her head onto the desk and gazed at Larry, her eyes half closed. It was late and the warm room always made her feel sleepy.

The job paid well, although it was a little strange. Being the youngest member of the team, she was often stuck with the highly undesirable graveyard shift. It was lonely, spending most nights in an empty facility with only an overgrown wolf for company. Of course, things were different on the three nights of the full moon. During these times, the spider's web of corridors surrounding the observation room thrummed with technicians and scientists. Even though they had seen it many times before, they were always excited anew at the prospect of watching the moon's power course through Larry. It made him stronger, and angrier. Sometimes they had to post armed guards along the perimeter of his cell lest he batter his way out. But for the rest of the month, the night time watch was reserved for Lily alone.

A small timer beeped loudly beside her and Lily switched it off with a sigh. She hoisted herself from her chair, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"It's time for your injection, Larry," she said. "Who's a lucky wolfie? You get to sleep, I'm jealous."

Larry made a low sound of indifference. He was leaning on the reinforced glass, the hair on his forehead pressed flat against it.

Lily bent over a small table to prepare the grotesquely long needle and when she straightened, couldn't help pausing as her gaze met that of the wolf. He had never really frightened her. Whenever she looked into his eyes, she always noticed how human they seemed. Sometimes she would stare until his snout and long whiskers became blurry and inconsistent. It was during these moments that Lily could imagine what his human features looked like. She could piece together a nose and lips. Lily smiled at him and flicked the tip of the needle.

"It�s no good staring me out this time, Larry," she said. "I'm doing you a favour. The drugs will make you good and sleepy; you'll thank me for it when you wake up all refreshed in the morning."

The glass walls of the cell were studded with small holes, each one positioned at a different height. One of the holes was directly in front of Larry and it was into this that Lily slid the needle. Larry was never a problem for her. Some of the other technicians would fiddle around for an age, poking the needle through different holes until they were able to pierce the wolf's hide. But when it was Lily's turn to play nurse he always came to the glass, as if trying to make her task easier.

Lily didn't like the sound the needle made when it pierced Larry's skin. It was an unsettling, meaty sound; the sound of several layers of skin breaking apart simultaneously. She pursed her lips together, trying not to move the needle and cause him more discomfort as she pushed on the plunger. Bright pink liquid swept inside Larry's body and began its journey through his bloodstream, causing him to sway slightly and tilt his head backwards.

Lily watched the beast in silence, knowing that at any moment he would crumple and fall to the floor.

Larry's coat was long and soft-looking. Not for the first time, Lily wondered what it would be like to touch that fur, to feel the power pulsing in the skin just beneath her fingertips. Tentatively, she placed one of her hands on the glass. She knew that Larry couldn't reach her from inside his cell, but she still felt delicious prickles of fear run up and down her back.

"What were you like?" Lily wondered aloud. "What were you like when you were human?"

As if in reply, and to her utter astonishment, Larry pressed his own hand against Lily�s. Only a sheet of glass separated them and Lily could almost feel the heat emanating from Larry's palm. His fingers were long and tapered, much longer than human fingers. Lily's hand looked very white and very small in comparison. Her eyes followed the elegant lines of those fingers. They ended in thick, straight nails, finished to a lethal point.

Lily looked up at Larry's face. Standing before her was a wolf of grotesque proportions. He had multi-layered teeth like a shark, each one a deadly chunk of razor designed to tear and rip and mutilate. His arms and legs were bunched with muscles and when he howled, he could be heard up to a mile away. Lily should have been terrified at the prospect of looking this monster in the eye. Larry was looking down at her with a softness in his eyes that jarred completely with his physical appearance. He could sever her head from her shoulders with one swipe of his enormous paw, yet his human eyes betrayed the fact that he wouldn't want to.

"I don't think you'd hurt me, would you?" Lily whispered.

Without pausing to think about what she was doing, Lily turned the handle on the door of the food hatch. It slid open easily and created a small opening beside her in the glass, large enough to lower a bowl of food inside. Or reach in a hand. Slowly, Lily poked a solitary finger through the opening. She was trembling, but with anticipation, not from fear. Larry stood patiently, his eyes following Lily's progress with the intensity of a sparrow watching an emerging worm.

Lily's finger touched the wolf�s abdomen and she paused, shocked for a moment by her own daring. His body felt warm and taut, and his fur was soft, just as she had imagined. Lily took a deep breath and opened her hand fully, resting her palm against Larry's downy stomach. She looked up into his eyes once more. His mouth was open, as if he was trying to speak. Lily began to speak for him but he moved away before she could get the words out. She was about to reluctantly withdraw when Larry's arm shot out towards her. His outstretched claws barely grazed the back of her hand, but it was enough to draw blood. Lily looked down dumbly at the two livid lines freshly scored into her skin. They began to throb and bead with blood. She finally snatched her hand away and stumbled backwards, her eyes wide and hurt. Larry was teetering on his feet, his head flung back. The injection had finished working its way through his body and he collapsed with a snarl as unconsciousness took hold.

* * * * *

At home the following day, Lily could barely sleep. It was always difficult to sleep after a graveyard shift when the world outside was bright and noisy, but that morning the arrival of sleep was particularly slow. Lily felt hot and clammy. Flushes crept up and down her body and even though it was late September, she had thrown her duvet to the floor.

After an uncomfortable two hours, she finally fell into a light and fretful sleep. Images fluttered into her head, unbidden and horrendous. She saw corpses, ripped into meaty pieces and left scattered in the hoary bushes of a tangled undergrowth like hellish confetti. The picture shifted and contorted, spinning until a woman's face came into focus. The face was covered with bloody splash-back and the mouth was open wide in a last desperate scream. The scene panned out and Lily realised that the woman was little more than a torso. Her arms and legs had been ripped clean away. One long shaft of thigh bone was all that remained. Even in her dream, Lily felt revulsion and nausea building inside her.

She was suddenly aware of something lying in her hands. Something pulsing and wet. She looked down, unable to stop herself, and saw she was holding one of the woman's gore-streaked arms. Her first impulse was to throw the grotesque object to the ground, but she paused. The arm was so warm and pliant. The feel of fresh meat in her hands felt comfortable and normal. It felt like coming home. Reminding herself that this wasn't real, she let herself do as her body was begging her to do; and lifted the arm to her parted lips. When she bit into it, her mouth filled with saliva. The flesh crunching between her teeth was sweet and more satisfying than the juiciest steak. The blood coursing down her throat lit her entire body with exquisite flame. Lily gnawed at the arm until whole swathes of bone were revealed and long tendons came away and caught in her teeth. Sated and trembling, she finally threw it down.

Lily shuddered, suddenly horrified at her actions. But the blood and flesh were already tearing through her, giving strength to tired muscles and filling her senses with golden light. She could literally smell the wind, faint though it was, and she wanted to chase it through the trees. She broke into a run, sailing over the mutilated corpse and landing as neatly as a gymnast. She was running so fast she could barely feel her feet. The trees became dark blurs yet a deeply buried sense made her weave and turn, preventing her from colliding with hard bark and branches. A large clearing opened up in front of her and Lily slowed to a stop, expecting to be out of breath and feeling pleasantly surprised when she wasn't. Before her, a glistening lake rolled away into hills wrapped in mist. Overhead the moon hung, enormous and bloated. Lily lifted her face towards it and felt peace and rapture wash through her. This feeling was incredible. She wanted to stay here and let the moon bathe her in silk forever. She wanted to be this strong and fast for all time. She never wanted to leave.

* * * * *

Lily woke, damp with sweat. She sat up, wondering at her feeling of loss and fighting an inexplicable urge to sob until her heart broke.

* * * * *

When Lily started that night's shift, she sat on top of her desk for a long time, staring at Larry and wishing he could talk. He stared straight back as usual, his eyes full of dumb acknowledgment. Eventually, Lily jumped from the desk and strode up to the reinforced glass.

"I know you did this on purpose," she began. "You could have bitten me and turned me wolf, but you only scratched me. You wanted to show me those things. I just don't know why. Why not simply tear my arm right off and have yourself a little midnight snack?" Lily sighed. She knew that Larry couldn't answer her. He had the strength and intelligence of a hundred men, but he was eternally mute. "It was interesting though," she continued. "I had no idea you could convey images that way. From a scratch."

Lily began to return to her desk and was stopped by a loud buzzing in her ears. She shook her head, trying to dislodge whatever it was, but the sound expanded until it filled her entire head. Just as she was about to succumb to panic, the sensation cleared and her mind was swathed in bright clarity. Lily froze, not knowing whether to be frightened or amazed. She was suddenly aware that a voice was speaking in the stillness of her mind, a persistent questioning emanating from the centre of the void.

"Can you hear me now?"

Lily nodded and slowly turned back to Larry, afraid that if she moved too quickly the strange new lucidity would be startled right out of her head.

"Good. That's a start." Just like his eyes, Larry's voice was astonishingly human.

"What did you do to me?" Lily asked.

"I opened your mind, to allow us to communicate. The scratch made you more susceptible. I'm sorry about that, by the way. I hope I didn't hurt you too much."

Lily could barely believe this was happening, or that it was even possible. "Why would a werewolf care if he hurt someone?" she asked.

"You should know better than anyone that I'm not a dumb beast, acting on primitive urges. You've felt the power of the wolf, you've had it course through your veins. If I choose not to hurt, I don't hurt." Larry stepped away from the glass and began to pace his cell.

Lily crossed her arms. "But why did you do it? Did you want an ally? A friend on the inside who could get you out of here?"

Larry turned to her with a snarl. His whiskers lifted and his dark lips receded slightly, hinting at the razor teeth beyond. "I shouldn't be caged like this," he said. "These scientists, they prod and poke at me as if I'm a damn rat. I've shown you where I belong. I should be out there, under the moon."

He broke off suddenly and rushed at Lily. When his outstretched palms hit the glass it shuddered in its frame, causing Lily to jump and stumble backwards. "This isn't something that can be told," he implored. "I need to show you."

Larry's voice drifted away and a haze seeped into the clarity of Lily's mind, polluting the light and turning it grey. Lily was paralysed and could only stand and let the fog sweep over her. It obscured the room and Larry's cell until all she could see was a thick expanse of dirty cloud. It took several minutes for the fog to thin and roll away and when it finally cleared, Lily found herself standing in her night-time forest once again. She inhaled the crisp air, feeling both powerful and at peace. She began to run, gathering speed with every stride. Strength flowed down into her legs and she flew over grassy mounds and fallen branches, her heart and lungs working in perfect rhythm.

Suddenly aware that she wasn't alone, Lily glanced to her right and saw Larry running beside her. He was a hulking monster, the sight of which running at such ferocious speed made cold sweat stand out on Lily's forehead. But he was also graceful and lithe. Every muscle in his body worked simultaneously and with definite precision, every movement was impossibly flawless.

Lily was jolted from her sprint by a sudden flare of pain between her shoulder blades. She cried out and fell forward, her outstretched hands crashing into the soft mulch of the forest floor. Next to her, Larry had also fallen down. He was snarling and shaking. He attempted to stand up but his legs buckled and he landed on his back, his long claws flailing at the sky. Several men carrying guns crept from the surrounding trees. They circled Larry, their voices high-pitched with excitement.

"Jesus, we got it," one of them said. "I wasn't sure we'd be able to pull this off."

By the time Lily realised she and Larry had been shot with a tranquilising drug, the forest had already begun to fade to black.

* * * * *

When Lily came round, the bright glare of fluorescent strip lights filled her eyes and made pain flare in her head. She tried to sit up, only to discover her arms and legs were bound and she couldn't move. Groggily, she looked around, her eyes swimming and her limbs aching. With an icy stab of fear, she realised she was strapped to an examination table at the Lycanthrope Institute. A scientist in a white lab coat swam into view above her and Lily began to buck wildly.

"What do you think you're doing?" she screamed at him. "Let me go."

"I think we made it angry," the scientist said, addressing a colleague. He laughed and chose a long needle from a selection lying on a tray. "I think we should dose it again before we get it in the observation room."

With a sinking heart, Lily realised the scientists couldn't understand her. When she tried to speak, all they heard was frenzied growling.

"We should give it a name," the scientist continued, pushing the needle deep into Lily's arm. "I like Larry. Larry the Lycanthrope. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" Lily slipped into unconsciousness for the second time while the scientists' laughter rang all around her.

* * * * *

In a space of minutes that felt like months, Larry showed Lily how his time had been spent at the Institute. For those blessed with lycanthropy, the wolf only surfaces on the nights of the full moon. For the rest of the month they go about their lives. They work at their jobs and tend to their families. This wasn't good enough for the scientists though, they didn't want to study a human. They injected Larry with a continuous cocktail of drugs, designed to keep him in his wolf form. Larry found it hard to cope with the constant surges of strength. The muscles in his limbs felt as if they would burst apart. This was where the lowly technicians came in. It was their job to watch Larry, to report on his behaviour and to administer the sedatives that stopped him from clawing at himself.

When Larry was finished, when he finally withdrew the images from Lily's mind, she found herself crumpled on the floor of the observation room. Her eyes were wet with tears and she couldn't stop shivering. Echoes played through her mind as she struggled to sit up. The moon was still filling her with preternatural light and the wind continued to call her name.

"Larry," she croaked, unable to put her rushing thoughts into words. He stared back at her with begging eyes, mute once again.

Lily got to her feet and fumbled in her pocket, looking for her set of keys. Wordlessly, she grappled with a tiny lock, secreted near the floor of the cell. It turned with a reverberating clunk and a large section of the glass swung backwards. Larry didn't move, he seemed to be waiting for Lily to speak first. She stepped inside, devoid of fear or trepidation. She felt as if she was floating above the sterile floor. Half of her was wild and running, leaves were whipping against her face and the moon was urging her on, coaxing her to greater exertion. She stopped in front of Larry and smiled. It was a strange half-smile, a look of resolve and understanding.

"I want to be turned," she whispered. "Turn me wolf, Larry. Isn't that what you really wanted all along?"

Larry took barely a second to consider Lily�s request. He leapt at her with a roar that rumbled up from the pit of his bowels. His monstrously long limbs reached out, grabbing at her shoulders. His claws sank cruelly into Lily's white flesh and as he drew her towards him, she began to silently convulse. She bit her lip. Larry's whiskers were sharp against her cheek and the burning pain in her shoulders was almost unbearable, but she refused to cry out. Soon it would be over, soon she would be one with the moon and the wind and this pain would all be worth it.

Larry briefly looked at Lily before pinning her to the ground. Lily only nodded her head, urging him on. He pushed her to the floor and sat astride her, a towering mass of fur and muscle, crushing her chest and making her ribs split and splinter.

Lily couldn�t breathe. She could feel blood welling up inside her throat and her whole body was aflame with exquisite agony. Still she refused to struggle. The moon was burning brighter in her mind and she could almost smell the damp bark and bright air of the forest.

Larry bent for the kill, nuzzling at her neck until he found her pulsing jugular vein. He bit hard and deep. His shark's teeth shattered Lily's collarbone and her trembling became a violent spasm that she couldn't control. Lily could feel herself dying. The world around her was becoming blurred and unreal.

Larry managed to stop before it was too late and slunk away across the floor, his maw dripping with warm blood and a string of fleshy tissue caught in his whiskers. He watched Lily with a growing sense of alarm, wondering if he had taken too much, if he had hurt her too badly.

It was almost twenty minutes before Lily's body began to twitch and reawaken. Her eyes fluttered open and she stared up at the dazzling lights in the ceiling, transfixed as if she could see past them to the ancient stars beyond. She could feel her broken bones literally knitting themselves back together. She sat up and stretched, luxuriating in the sensation of her strengthening muscles. They were filled with heat, growing larger and harder. She barely registered Larry's presence until he grasped her hands and pulled her to her feet.

"I thought I had gone too far," he said. "I thought you might be dead." His lips didn't move but his voice was clear inside Lily's head.

"I feel so strong," Lily said.

Before Larry could reply, Lily bent double, her face contorted with a fresh wave of pain. He held her as she struggled to pull breath into her lungs.

"I wondered if this might happen," he said. "It's not a full moon, but the drugs they use to keep me in my wolf state are in my bloodstream. They've affected you too, you're becoming wolf already."

Lily flailed listlessly at Larry, pushing him away. She backed against the cell wall and stood shaking, trying not to fall down. "It's okay," she managed. "I want this."

Larry watched as Lily's body stretched and changed. This time, she did cry out. It was the curdled, guttural sound of a beast in pain. Coarse hair forced its way out of tender follicles. Her face twisted and elongated, forming a snout and sprouting long whiskers. Her fingers tore apart and fell away to reveal glinting talons. When the transformation was complete Lily was panting and raw, but she was smiling.

"Are you all right?" Larry asked. "It can be a shock at first, the change. It can take a while to feel comfortable in your new body."

Lily vehemently shook her head. "I've never felt more comfortable in my life." She began moving towards Larry and he looked at her quizzically, suddenly unsure of her intentions. "I want to thank you for the gift," she continued. "It's just what I always wanted and I didn't even realise it. But you've forgotten something fundamental about our kind."

Larry backed away from the advancing predator. Her voice held a dark malice that made him uneasy. "What have I forgotten?" he asked hesitantly.

"You've forgotten that we're lycanthropes, not common pack wolves." Her lips were curling around her teeth and her whiskers were trembling.

Larry held his long paws out in a gesture of peace. "What are you talking about, Lily? Let's get out of here, it will be daybreak soon."

Lily ignored him and continued to press him back into a corner. "You're weak." A low growl escaped her throat. "You allowed yourself to be caught by humans. If I took you with me you'd only be a hindrance. Besides, lycanthropes are lone hunters. The moon taught me that."

Larry realised too late that Lily was readying herself to launch at him. She leapt with outstretched claws and tore half his face away. Larry staggered backwards, dazed by the sudden blaze of pain. Blood began to gush from his ruined eye socket. He attempted to turn and strike out at his assailant but somehow found himself knocked to the floor.

"Lily, stop," he commanded, his voice hoarse and broken. "Wolves don't attack each other."

Lily didn't reply. Instead, she bore down on him, delighting in her lust for flesh as her flying claws became a blur. The last thing Larry saw before he died was her eyes, filled with contempt and feral lunacy.

* * * * *

When day broke across the forest, Lily was huddled underneath a twisted oak tree. The last of the wolf's power had drained from her body. She was naked and frozen, her skin misted with dew. She had been crying for an hour, filled with a loss deeper than death; and now her eyes were red and strained. A shaft of sunlight fell through the trees and Lily turned her face towards it, a smile slowly forming on her lips. The full moon was only a week away; and she would greet it like an old friend.

Caroline Barnard-Smith graduated from the University of Portsmouth with a bachelor's degree in English Literature and is currently working on her second novel. She lives in Devon, England with her husband where she writes about ruthless vampires, lovelorn zombies, heinous blood cults and anything else that goes "grrr" in the night. You can visit her at www.carolinebarnard-smith.com.