“You get these calls often?”
Lucky shrugged, “Some.”
“Well, it sure is weird. Who goes and leaves a huge snake in their flat? It’s irresponsible, that what it is.”
Lucky kept her thoughts to herself. The landlord didn’t seem to need a response. He went on, still breathless from the walk up the stairs. “Is it dangerous? Sure looks dangerous.”
“That’s not the right question,” Lucky replied with a small smile.
“Not the right question? What the hell is the right question?”
Lucky was fascinated by the flopping of the landlord's jowls as he spoke and the way his beady eyes were darting around the room. “Pass me that hessian bag, will you?”
He handed it to her and stepped back.
“Why don’t you wait outside, you’re upsetting the python.”
Lucky could hear him muttering as he scurried out of the bedroom. “Upsetting the python! I’ll give her upsetting the python.” She turned her attention to the snake curled on the bed and said, “Hello Annabel, have you been a bad girl?”
* * * * *
There were two types of people that bought her snakes. The pony tail and prominent display of chest hair should have warned her.
“So, what is the biggest snake that you have?”
“A reticulated python, but that’s not the right question,” Lucky said.
The man sighed, “Listen, I’m in a bit of a hurry, sweetheart. I know you people like to flaunt your knowledge, but money is no object. So how about you wrap up that bad boy and we save the speeches for another time?”
Lucky regarded him for a moment. He didn’t deserve it, but she had a code that she lived by and had to at least try.
“There are two things that you need to watch out for.”
“Watch out for, got it. Here you go,” he said, handing her a platinum credit card.
“The first sign is if they stop eating. Pythons space their meals, but they are regular eaters. If you notice her skipping meals then you need to contact me.”
The man raised his eyebrows and said, “Really?”
“Really. The other thing you must watch out for is if the snake starts lying next to you on the bed. Normally they will curl at the foot of the bed.”
“You mean if it starts cuddling up?” the man joked.
“She’s not cuddling up,” Lucky replied, “she’s measuring you; pythons can only swallow something a quarter of their own length.” She looked him up and down. “You may just fit.”
“Okay then, well thanks for the advice. I’ll sure give you a call if I need anything. How about I pull around the back and you can load it up?”
Lucky gave him her small smile.
* * * * *
She reached for the ringing phone and said, “Reptile World, Lucky speaking.”
“Hi, is this the Snake Shop?”
“We sell snakes and other reptiles. How can I help you?”
“Some moron has left a huge snake in my apartment. I went down to check when his rent was a couple of months late and it looks like the bum has skipped town. Not a sign of the bastard, just this enormous god damn snake. Can you get rid of it for me?”
“I’ll be right down, don’t try and catch her yourself.”
“Yeah right, let me give you the address.”
As she noted down the details, Lucky shook her head. It looked like Annabel had been a bad girl again.
David Such was born in Brisbane but now shares his time between Sydney and a vineyard in the Hunter Valley. David is a member of the Australian Horror Writers Association and would love to have you visit him at http://davidsuch.blogspot.com.
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