F.A.Q.



Q: What does a Shadow Hunter do exactly?
A: We hunt the creatures of the night, protecting mankind from supernatural evils. There are indeed monsters out there, that run rampant and attack mankind. The Shadow Hunters are in place to track down and stop them.



Q: How many Shadow Hunters are there?
A: From Manfred Bruner, the first Shadow Hunter, there are currently about 400 descendants, of which there are about 60-70 active Shadow Hunters operating throughout the world. Most of them being in the United States and Europe. This number is just a rough estimate, I'm not entirely sure, I'm not the genealogist of the family, my grandmother, Gerry was until she passed away recently, my Aunt Diane has taken over and is working on it now to help organize the family.



Q: What sort of monsters do you go after?
A: There are literally hundreds of creatures that are supernatural, we primarily go after those that target man. We have a rather large information network, when we hear of people who disappear or are ravaged by some strange animal, that sends a red flag for the Shadow Hunters to go in and deal with the menace.



Q: What was the most dangerous monster you have ever faced?
A: There was a vampire who survived an attack from a werewolf. Lord William James Carrington by name. I think he's from England. Every full moon, he became this macabre vampire/werewolf hybrid. Four inch long fangs, Twelve inch long claws, giant bat wings that were about fourteen feet wide. Incredibly powerful, more so than one would believe. Has an amazing charisma, last I heard he was gathering other creatures of the night around him, creating a nightmare army. He is the primary concern of all the Shadow Hunters, but we simply have no clue as to his current whereabouts. When I fought him, he toyed with me, I'll be honest with you, I was way out of his league. He left me a bloody, beaten man on my own doorstep. Told me to my face that I wasn't worth the effort, and left me as an example to the other Shadow Hunters.

I have 6 bullets, specially made just for him, silver coated wood. The wood coming from our local church, which was originally cut from a tree that was on consecrated ground, I soaked it in holy water and had it blessed by our priest.

I'm looking forward to the re-match.



Q: So where do you get your silver bullets?
A: You are looking at the president and only member of the Pennsylvania Chapter of the Lone Ranger Fan Club. I order working silver bullets from a weapon smith for our 'members' without raising a glimmer of suspicion. I even have a signed autograph from Clayton Moore. He was a better man than anyone ever gave him credit for. He believed in the noble ideals his character stood for.



Q: How many monsters have you gone after?
A: *whew* tough question, on average I fight about 1 or 2 a month... I've been doing this for about 5 years... I would say... about 90.



Q: Why not kill all the monsters?
A: Not all 'monsters' are truly evil, some are no more than animals, misunderstood and hunted by mankind to the point of near extinction. That's why we keep them here in our Monster Maze. To protect them as much as to protect mankind. I have a swamp monster that is as friendly as your average dog, as long as he's well fed, he is quite pleasant.

Weird but true -> I've played 'fetch' with the swamp creature using a 55-gallon drum as the 'stick'. I've also given him our old couch as a chew toy.

I also have an intelligent giant bat, able to use tools and understand English, Prefers to use a knife to protect himself. He just likes to watch TV all night long. Enjoys Jay Leno and Nick at Nite.



Q: Where do you get the food for your monsters?
A: We set up a business front of a restaurant, we order in bulk, so there aren't too many questions asked. Some of the monsters require a diet of human flesh, so we have a 'back door' agreement with William Karzdel, a mortician that caters to the Tri-State prisons of Pennsylvania, New York and New Jersey, ordinarily, if any relatives fail to pick up a deceased prisoner, the state has to bury the deceased, but we get the body instead for a nominal 'donation' to Mr. Karzdel's Swiss bank account.

This happens more often than I care to think about...



Q: Has a monster ever threatened your wife and child?
A: A few years ago, there was a vampire once from Brazil. His name was Senor Pablo Manila'. He found out where I lived and the names of my wife and son and told me that if I ever went near him, that Susan and Logan were dead.

I now keep his head in a large jar in my basement. He's still alive, and I talk to him every once in a while. Decapitation won't kill a vampire. It is difficult to understand what he is saying though, you see, I removed his teeth.

One by one.

Slowly.

With a rusty set of pliers.

On special occasions, I give the head to our troll as a toy. Have you ever seen the commercial where there is a gorilla smashing a Samsonite suitcase all over his cage? Same thing with the troll. I have never told anyone about Senor Manila', but somehow, word has gotten out. Not a single sentient monster has ever threatend my family since.



Q: What was your most interesting battle?
A: One time I fought an intelligent mold spore, about 1/2 an acre in size, had to burn it to kill it. It was planning on eradicating all living creatures. It was capable of reading human minds and could re-shape itself at will, and would take on the shape of deceased loved ones to protect itself.



Q: Why not simply use a shotgun on all the monsters?
A: Doesn't work, some can only be killed by wood, others only by silver. There's this one goblin than can only be killed by ice. If I remember correctly, there is a drider (half woman/half giant spider) that can only be harmed by the ivory tusk of the narwhale. Ever hear of the phrase 'Use the right tool for the job'? That started out as a Shadow Hunter axiom for always taking the right weapon when dealing with a monster.

Another thing you should know, popular legend has it that a wooden stake can kill a vampire, this is true. But it's the wood that is harmful to them, you can hit a vampire with a wooden baseball bat and bruises will appear. Hit a vampire enough with a wooden baseball bat (say, about 50 or 60 times...) you can destroy them. I know this to be true from experience.



Q: Have there ever been Shadow Hunters not of the Bruner family bloodline?
A: To my knowledge, no. Though there have been Regulars who have assisted Shadow Hunters throughout the years. My father-in-law got involved once with a ghoul, after I begged him to stay out, he said that if his daughter was going to marry me, he was going to find out what being a Shadow Hunter was all about.

It wound up costing him both of his legs, from the knees down. I still blame myself for his injuries.



Q: What is a 'REGULAR'?
A: That's what every member of the Bruner family refers to average people, a regular person, unaware of the supernatural. It's not an insult; it just means that they need to be educated of the world around them.



Q: Have you ever accidentally killed a 'REGULAR'?
A: No, I haven't (THANK GOD!) I thank my dad's training on that one, when I was 12, I hated him for making me stay up to 3 in the morning practicing with the crossbow, but now I'm thankful. One good shot has saved an innocent child's life more than once.



Q: Why do you let innocent people see your monsters every Halloween?
A: As incredible as it seems, there are millions of disbelievers out there, we need to educate people, we need to let them know what dangers that are out there to help protect them.



Q: Were you always a Shadow Hunter?
A: Nope, after high school, I joined the U.S. Army, planning on using skills I learned in the military to help at being a Shadow Hunter. (United States Army Intelligence, HooAhh!)



Q: Has there ever been female Shadow Hunters?
A: Yes, there have. Especially during World War II, many of the Shadow Hunters answered the call to arms to help defend this great country of ours, and in years past many Bruner men have enlisted for military training with the realization that such training could enhance their Shadow Hunter skills. That's when some of the Bruner women took over in their place. A couple of them became quite good, if I ever have the time, I got to tell you about my 'Crazy' Aunt Maggie. Man, was she a character!



Q: How do the Shadow Hunters afford all this?
A: We can't that's why we sell the t-shirts, coffee mugs and mouse pads; we need YOUR help to succeed. http://www.cafepress.com/monstermaz
-AND-
http://www.cafepress.com/monsters



Q: Has any government agency ever approached the Shadow Hunters?
A: Yes, on a few occasions, they know about us and we know about them, especially their version of the 'Shadow Hunters' called 'Black Ops', the Bruner family doesn't quite trust the government, we feel that they want to control us and use us as tools. There may one day be a confrontation between the Shadow Hunters and Black Ops, but for now, I just view them as the competition. I'm kind of jealous of the Black Ops, they have the best equipment money can buy. Kevlar vests, carbon crossbows, night vision goggles. It's enough to make you drool.

I've fought this one rakshasha (a man/tiger from India) that had a bar code tattooed on the bottom of his foot.

Still looking into that one.



Q: What sort of training do you need to be a Shadow Hunter?
A: Well, you need good marksmanship skills, Basic outdoor survival skills and good tracking skills, be able to identify several hundred monsters by their footprints, teeth marks, claw marks, stool and mucus. Knowledgeable in forensics. Know the weaknesses and how to kill each and every one of the monsters. An ability to keep a cool head in the presence of danger. Use deductive reasoning. Tolerance for being in an uncomfortable environment (lost track of the number of times I tracked a creature in the sewers where the stank was so bad, it made you nauseous. Why do monsters like sewers anyway? Why can't they have lairs in nice warm, pine-scented living rooms?) A good knowledge of chemistry and metallurgy is helpful. My wife has become pretty good at being a battlefield medic, she has set some of my broken bones and stitched up more cuts than I can count.



Q: Have you ever had a need to break the law while working as a Shadow Hunter?
A: No comment.



Q: Has their ever been a rogue Shadow Hunter?
A: Yes, the most recent one would be Damien 'Hellstorm' Bruner. A real nasty piece of work if you ask me. Turned his back on the Bruner family about two decades ago. I was there when my dad and he had exchanged words. Boils down to the fact that my dad always felt that protecting mankind came first, Damien felt that the ends justified the means, and if innocent people got hurt while taking down a monster, so be it. Last I heard, Damien joined forces with the 'Black Ops' though I have no idea why and no idea for what purpose. Makes me a bit nervous.

As a kid, I never liked my uncle Damien.



Q: How does your wife feel about you being a Shadow Hunter?
A: She is the most loyal supportive woman I have ever met; I love her with all of my heart and soul. It hurts me to say this, but I know that she fears for my safety, and the safety for our son Logan, and I feel that deep down, when you get right down to it, she wishes I had a nice, safe job, like insurance salesman or something.

I've discovered her tears on the pillowcase if I come in too late.



Q: Do you regret being a Shadow Hunter?
A: Sometimes, yes I do. I have a responsibility that I will never betray. I have and will, always be a Shadow Hunter like my forefathers. But sometimes, I wish I could stay home, and watch a videotape of a Disney movie with my wife by my side and my son on my lap. But, there just doesn't ever seem to be enough time...



Q: Do you consider yourself a hero ?
A: God no...I'm just a normal guy doing an unusual job, if it wasn't a family tradition, I wouldn't be doing it at all. Except for being a Shadow Hunter, I consider myself to be a very average and kind of boring guy.



Q: Is your dad retired now, since the werewolf attack?
A: That's a yes and no sort of thing. I want my dad to retire, my wife wants my dad to retire, my mom wants my dad to retire, and my dad...he doesn't want to retire. He comes over with any information he's gathered, and he always offers to help (I sometimes have to come up with excuses to make sure he stays home.) He still polishes his silver weapons, and has a good supply of wooden stakes nearby. I think that my dad would sooner go out in a blaze of glory than just get old. For mom's sake, I'm making sure he dies of natural causes.



Q: Have any Shadow Hunters ever become monsters?
A: Unfortunately, over the years, there have been several well-known incidents among the Bruner families, I prefer not to talk about it. We don't need to relive those tragedies.



Q: How many Shadow Hunters have been killed by monsters?
A: Too many. That's another thing I prefer not to talk about. I don't need my wife finding out the answer to that question.



Q: What do I do if I think a monster is preying on my friends, family, and neighbors?
A: Contact the closest Shadow Hunter living near you, make discreet phone calls to everyone with the last name of BRUNER in you phone book. (We're always listed.) Almost always there is a relative who is aware of the closest family with an active Shadow Hunter. We really need to set up a 1-800 number or get a web page or something, but many of the Shadow Hunters are not techno-savy. My family is comprised of old fashioned traditionalists, this fact may well be our downfall. That's why I'm trying to get us into the 20th Century and publishing this FAQ on the web.








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