When I found that I was a prisoner a sort of wild feeling came
over me. I rushed up and down the stairs, trying every door and
peering out of every window I could find; but after a little the
conviction of my helplessness overpowered all other feelings. When I
look back after a few hours I think I must have been mad for the time,
for I behaved much as a rat does in a trap. When, however, the
conviction had come to me that I was helpless I sat down quietly- as
quietly as I have ever done anything in my life- and began to think
over what was best to be done. I am thinking still, and as yet have
come to no definite conclusion. Of one thing only am I certain; that
it is no use making my ideas known to the Count. He knows well that
I am imprisoned; and as he has done it himself, and has doubtless
his own motives for it, he would only deceive me if I trusted him
fully with the facts. So far as I can see, my only plan will be to
keep my knowledge and my fears to myself, and my eyes open. I am, I
know, either being deceived, like a baby, by my own fears, or else I
am in desperate straits; and if the latter be so, I need, and shall
need, all my brains to get through.
  I had hardly come to this conclusion when I heard the great door
below shut, and knew that the Count had returned. He did not come at
once into the library, so I went cautiously to my own room and found
him making the bed. This was odd, but only confirmed what I had all
along though that there were no servants in the house. When later I
saw him through the chink of the hinges of the door laying the table
in the dining-room, I was assured of it; for if he does himself all
these menial offices, surely it is proof that there is no one else
to do them. This gave me a fright, for if there is no one else in
the castle, it must have been the Count himself who was the driver
of the coach that brought me here. This is a terrible thought; for
if so, what does it mean that he could control the wolves, as he
did, by only holding up his hand in silence. How was it that all the
people at Bistritz and on the coach had some terrible fear for me?
What meant the giving of the crucifix, of the garlic, of the wild
rose, of the mountain ash? Bless that good, good woman who hung the
crucifix round my neck! for it is a comfort and a strength to me
whenever I touch it. It is odd that a thing which I have been taught
to regard with disfavour and as idolatrous should in a time of
loneliness and trouble be of help. Is it that there is something in
the essence of the thing itself, or that it is a medium, a tangible
help, in conveying memories of sympathy and comfort? Some time, if
it may be, I must examine this matter and try to make up my mind about
it. In the meantime I must find out all I can about Count Dracula,
as it may help me to understand. To-night he may talk of himself, if I
turn the conversation that way. I must be very careful, however, not
to awake his suspicion.

  Midnight.- I have had a long talk with the Count. I asked him a
few questions on Transylvania history, and he warmed up to the subject
wonderfully. In his speaking of things and people, and especially of
battles, he spoke as if he had been present at them all. This he
afterwards explained by saying that to a boyar the pride of his
house and name is his own pride, that their glory is his glory, that
their fate is his fate. Whenever he spoke of his house he always
said "we," and spoke almost in the plural, like a king speaking. I
wish I could put down all he said exactly as he said it, for to me
it was most fascinating. It seemed to have in it a whole history of
the country. He grew excited as he spoke, and walked about the room
pulling his great white moustache and grasping anything on which he
laid his hands as though he would crush it by main strength. One thing
he said which I shall put down as nearly as I can; for it tells in its
way the story of his race:-
  "We Szekelys have a right to be proud, for in our veins flows the
blood of many brave races who fought as the lion fights, for lordship.
Here, in the whirlpool of European races, the Ugric tribe bore down
from Iceland the fighting spirit which Thor and Wodin gave them, which
their Berserkers displayed to such fell intent on the seaboards of
Europe, ay, and of Asia and Africa too, till the peoples thought
that the were wolves themselves had come. Here too when they came,
they found the Huns, whose warlike fury had swept the earth like a
living flame, till the dying peoples held that in their veins ran
the blood of those old witches, who, expelled from Scythia had mated
with the devils in the desert. Fools, fools! What devil or what
witch was ever so great as Attila, whose blood is in these veins?"
He held up his arms. "Is it a wonder that we were a conquering race;
that we were proud; that when the Magyar, the Lombard, the Avar, the
Bulgar, or the Turk poured his thousands on our frontiers, we drove
them back? Is it strange that when Arpad and his legions swept through
the Hungarian fatherland he found us here when he reached the
frontier; that the Honfoglalas was completed there? And when the
Hungarian flood swept eastward, the Szekelys were claimed as kindred
by the victorious Magyars, and to us for centuries was trusted the
guarding of the frontier of Turkey-land; ay and more than that,
endless duty of the frontier guard, for, as the Turks say, 'water
sleeps, and enemy is sleepless.' Who more gladly than we throughout
the Four Nations received the bloody sword, or at its warlike call
flocked quicker to the standard of the King? When was redeemed that
great shame of my nation, the shame of Cassova, when the flags of
the Wallach and the Magyar went down beneath the Crescent, who was
it but one of my own race who as Voivode crossed the Danube and beat
the Turk on his own ground? This was a Dracula indeed! Woe was it that
his own unworthy brother, when he had fallen, sold his people to the
Turk and brought the shame of slavery on them! Was it not this
Dracula, indeed, who inspired that other of his race who in a later
age again and again brought his forces over the great river into
Turkey-land; who, when he was beaten back, came again, and again,
and again, though he had to come alone from the bloody field where his
troops were being slaughtered, since he knew that he alone could
ultimately triumph? They said that he thought only of himself. Bah!
what good are peasants without a leader? Where ends the war without
a brain and heart to conduct it? Again, when, after the battle of
Mohacs, we threw off the Hungarian yoke, we of the Dracula blood
were amongst their leaders, for our spirit would not brook that we
were not free. Ah, young sir, the Szekelys- and the Dracula as their
heart's blood, their brains, and their swords- can boast a record that
mushroom growths like the Hapsburgs and the Romanoffs can never reach.
The warlike days are over. Blood is too precious a thing in these days
of dishonourable peace; and the glories of the great races are as a
tale that is told."
  It was by this time close on morning, and we went to bed. (Mem. this
diary seems horribly like the beginning of the "Arabian Nights," for
everything has to break off at cockcrow- or like the ghost of Hamlet's
father.)

  12 May.- Let me begin with facts- bare, meagre facts, verified by
books and figures, and of which there can be no doubt. I must not
confuse them with experiences which will have to rest on my own
observation, or my memory of them. Last evening when the Count came
from his room he began by asking me questions on legal matters and
on the doing of certain kinds of business. I had spent the day wearily
over books, and, simply to keep my mind occupied, went over some of
the matters I had been examined in at Lincoln's Inn. There was a
certain method in the Count's inquiries, so I shall try to put them
down in sequence; the knowledge may somehow or some time be useful
to me.
  First, he asked if a man in England might have two solicitors or
more. I told him he might have a dozen if he wished, but that it would
not be wise to have more than one solicitor engaged in one
transaction, as only one could act at a time, and that to change would
be certain to militate against his interest. He seemed thoroughly to
understand, and went on to ask if there would be any practical
difficulty in having one man to attend, say, to banking, and another
to look after shipping, in case local help were needed in a place
far from the home of the banking solicitor. I asked him to explain
more fully, so that I might not by any chance mislead him, so he
said:-
  "I shall illustrate. Your friend and mine, Mr. Peter Hawkins, from
under the shadow of your beautiful cathedral at Exeter, which is far
from London, buys for me through your good self my place at London.
Good! Now here let me say frankly, lest you should think it strange
that I have sought the services of one so far off from London
instead of some one resident there, that my motive was that no local
interest might be served save my wish only; and as one of London
resident might, perhaps, have some purpose of himself or friend to
serve, I went thus afield to seek my agent, whose labours should be
only to my interest. Now, suppose I, who have much of affairs, wish to
ship goods, say, to Newcastle, or Durham, or Harwich, or Dover,
might it not be that it could with more ease be done by consigning
to one in these ports?" I answered that certainly it would be most
easy, but that we solicitors had a system of agency one for the other,
so that local work could be done locally on instruction from any
solicitor, so that the client, simply placing himself in the hands
of one man, could have his wishes carried out by him without further
trouble.
  "But," said he, "I could be at liberty to direct myself. Is it not
so?"
  "Of course," I replied; "and such is often done by men of
business, who do not like the whole of their affairs to be known by
any one person."
  "Good!" he said, and then went on to ask about the means of making
consignments and the forms to be gone through, and of all sorts of
difficulties which might arise, but by fore thought could be guarded
against. I explained all these things to him to the best of my
ability, and he certainly left me under the impression that he would
have made a wonderful solicitor, for there was nothing that he did not
think of or foresee. For a man who was never in the country, and who
did not evidently do much in the way of business, his knowledge and
acumen were wonderful. When he had satisfied himself on these points
of which he had spoken, and I had verified all as well as I could by
the books available, he suddenly stood up and said:-
  "Have you written since your first letter to our friend Mr. Peter
Hawkins, or to any other?" It was with some bitterness in my heart
that I answered that I had not, that as yet I had not seen any
opportunity of sending letters to anybody.
  "Then write now, my young friend," he said, laying a heavy hand on
my shoulder, "write to our friend and to any other, and say, if it
will please you, that you shall stay with me until a month from now."
  "Do you wish me to stay so long?" I asked, for my heart grew cold at
the thought.
  "I desire it much; nay, I will take no refusal. When your master,
employer, what you will, engaged that some one should come on his
behalf, it was understood that my needs only were to be consulted. I
have not stinted. Is it not so?"
  What could I do but bow acceptance? it was Mr. Hawkins's interest,
not mine, and I had to think of him, not myself, and besides, which
Count Dracula was speaking, there was that in his eyes and in his
bearing which made me remember that I was a prisoner, and that if I
wished it I could have no choice. The Count saw his victory in my bow,
and his mastery in the trouble of my face, for he began at once to use
them, but in his own smooth, resistless way:-
  "I pray you, my good young friend, that you will not discourse of
things other than business in your letters. It will doubtless please
your friends to know that you are well, and that you look forward to
getting home to them. Is it not so?" As he spoke he handed me three
sheets of note-paper and three envelopes. They were all of the
thinnest foreign post, and looking at them, then at him, and
noticing his quiet smile, with the sharp, canine teeth lying over
the red underlip, I understood as well as if he had spoken that I
should be careful what I wrote, for he would be able to read it. So
I determined to write only formal notes now, but to write fully to Mr.
Hawkins in secret, and also to Mina, for to her I could write in
shorthand, which would puzzle the Count, if he did see it. When I
had written my two letters I sat quiet, reading a book whilst the
Count wrote several notes, referring as he wrote them to some books on
his table. Then he took up my two and placed them with his own, and
put by his writing materials, after which, the instant the door had
closed behind him, I leaned over and looked at the letters, which were
face down on the table. I felt no compunction in doing so, for under
the circumstances I felt that I should protect myself in every way I
could.
  One of the letters was directed to Samuel F. Billington, No. 7,
The Crescent, Whitby, another to Herr Leutner, Varna; the third was to
Coutts & Co., London, and the fourth to Herren Klopstock &
Billreuth, bankers, Buda-Pesth. The second and fourth were unsealed. I
was just about to look at them when I saw the door-handle move. I sank
back in my seat, having just had time to replace the letters as they
had been and to resume my book before the Count, holding still another
letter in his hand, entered the room. He took up the letters on the
table and stamped them carefully, and then turning to me, said:-
  "I trust you will forgive me, but I have much work to do in
private this evening. You will, I hope, find all things as you
wish." At the door he turned, and after a moment's pause said:-
  "Let me advise you, my dear young friend- nay, let me warn you
with all seriousness, that should you leave these rooms you will not
by any chance go to sleep in any other part of the castle. It is
old, and has many memories, and there are bad dreams for those who
sleep unwisely. Be warned! Should sleep now or ever overcome you, or
be like to do, then haste to your own chamber or to these rooms, for
your rest will then be safe. But if you be not careful in this
respect, then"- He finished his speech in a gruesome way, for he
motioned with his hands as if he were washing them. I quite
understood; my only doubt was as to whether any dream could be more
terrible than the unnatural, horrible net of gloom and mystery which
seemed closing round me.

  Later.- I endorse the last words written, but this time there is
no doubt in question. I shall not fear to sleep in any place where
he is not. I have placed the crucifix over the head of my bed- I
imagine that my rest is thus freer from dreams; and there it shall
remain.
  When he left me I went to my room. After a little while, not hearing
any sound, I came out and went up the stone stair to where I could
look out towards the South. There was some sense of freedom in the
vast expanse, inaccessible though it was to me, as compared with the
narrow darkness of the courtyard. Looking out on this, I felt that I
was indeed in prison, and I seemed to want a breath of fresh air,
though it were of the night. I am beginning to feel this nocturnal
existence tell on me. It is destroying my nerve. I start at my own
shadow, and am full of all sorts of horrible imaginings. God knows
that there is ground for my terrible fear in this accursed place! I
looked out over the beautiful expanse, bathed in soft yellow moonlight
till it was almost as light as day. In the soft light the distant
hills became melted, and the shadows in the valleys and gorges of
velvety blackness. The mere beauty seemed to cheer me; there was peace
and comfort in every breath I drew. As I leaned from the window my eye
was caught by something moving a storey below me, and somewhat to my
left, where I imagined, from the order of the rooms, that the
windows of the Count's own room would look out. The window at which
I stood was tall and deep, stone-mullioned, and though weatherworn,
was still complete; but it was evidently many a day since the case had
been there. I drew back behind the stonework, and looked carefully
out.
  What I saw was the Count's head coming out from the window. I did
not see the face, but I knew the man by the neck and the movement of
his back and arms. In any case I could not mistake the hands which I
had had so many opportunities of studying. I was at first interested
and somewhat amused, for it is wonderful how small a matter will
interest and amuse a man when he is a prisoner. But my very feelings
changed to repulsion and terror when I saw the whole man slowly emerge
from the window and begin to crawl down the castle wall over that
dreadful abyss, face down with his cloak spreading out around him like
great wings. At first I could not believe my eyes. I thought it was
some trick of the moonlight, some weird effect of shadow; but I kept
looking, and it could be no delusion. I saw the fingers and toes grasp
the corners of the stones, worn clear of the mortar by the stress of
years, and by thus using every projection and inequality move
downwards with considerable speed, just as a lizard moves along a
wall.
  What manner of man is this, or what manner of creature is it in
the semblance of man? I feel the dread of this horrible place
overpowering me; I am in fear- in awful fear- and there is no escape
for me; I am encompassed about with terrors that I dare not think
of...

  15 May.- Once more have I seen the Count go out in his lizard
fashion. He moved downwards in a sidelong way, some hundred feet down,
and a good deal to the left. He vanished into some hole or window.
When his head had disappeared I leaned out to try and see more, but
without avail- the distance was too great to allow a proper angle of
sight. I knew he had left the castle now, and thought to use the
opportunity to explore more than I had dared to do as yet. I went back
to the room, and taking a lamp, tried all the doors. They were all
locked, as I had expected, and the locks were comparatively new, but I
went down the stone stairs to the hall where I had entered originally.
I found I could pull back the bolts easily enough and unhook the great
chains; but the door was locked, and the key was gone That key must be
in the Count's room; I must watch should his door be unlocked, so that
I may get it and escape. I went on to make a thorough examination of
the various stairs and passages, and to try the doors that opened from
them. One or two small rooms near the hall were open, but there was
nothing to see in them except old furniture, dusty with age and
moth-eaten. At last, however, I found one door at the top of the
stairway which, though it seemed to be locked, gave a little under
pressure. I tried it harder, and found that it was not really
locked, but that the resistance came from the fact that the hinges had
fallen somewhat, and the heavy door rested on the floor. Here was an
opportunity which I might not have again, so I exerted myself, and
with many efforts forced it back so that I could enter. I was now in a
wing of the castle further to the right than the rooms I knew and a
storey lower down. From the windows I could see that the suite of
rooms lay along to the south of the castle, the windows of the end
room looking out both west and south. On the latter side, as well as
to the former, there was a great precipice. The castle was built on
the corner of a great rock, so that on three sides it was quite
impregnable, and great windows were placed here where sling, or bow,
or culverin could not reach, and consequently light and comfort,
impossible to a position which had to be guarded, were secured. To the
West was a great valley, and then, rising far away, great jagged
mountain fastnesses, rising peak on peak, the sheer rock studded
with mountain ash and thorn, whose roots clung in cracks and
crevices and crannies of the stone. This was evidently the portion
of the castle occupied by the ladies in bygone days, for the furniture
had more air of comfort than any I had seen. The windows were
curtainless, and the yellow moonlight, flooding in through the diamond
panes, enabled one to see even colours, whilst it softened the
wealth of dust which lay over all and disguised in some measure the
ravages of time and the moth. My lamp seemed to be of little effect in
the brilliant moonlight, but I was glad to have it with me, for
there was a dread loneliness in the place which chilled my heart and
made my nerves tremble. Still, it was better than living alone in
the rooms which I had come to hate from the presence of the Count, and
after trying a little to school my nerves, I found a soft quietude
come over me. Here I am, sitting at a little oak table where in old
times possibly some fair lady sat to pen, with much thought and many
blushes, her ill-spelt love-letter, and writing in my diary in
shorthand all that has happened since I closed it last. It is
nineteenth century up-to-date with a vengeance. And yet, unless my
senses deceive me, the old centuries had, and have, powers of their
own which mere "modernity" cannot kill.

  Later: the Morning of 16 May.- God preserve my sanity, for to this I
am reduced. Safety and the assurance of safety are things of the past.
Whilst I live on here there is but one thing to hope for; that I may
not go mad, if, indeed, I be not mad already. If I be sane, then
surely it is maddening to think that of all the foul things that
lurk in this hateful place the Count is the least dreadful to me; that
to him alone I can look for safety, even though this be only whilst
I can serve his purpose. Great God! merciful God! Let me be calm,
for out of that way lies madness indeed. I begin to get new lights
on certain things which have puzzled me. Up to now I never quite
knew what Shakespeare meant when he made Hamlet say:-

                   "My tablets! quick, my tablets!
                 'Tis meet that I put it down," etc.,

for now, feeling as though my own brain were unhinged or as if the
shock had come which must end in its undoing, I turn to my diary for
repose. The habit of entering accurately must help to soothe me.
  The Count's mysterious warning frightened me at the time; it
frightens me more now, when I think of it, for in future he has a
fearful hold upon me. I shall fear to doubt what he may say!
  When I had written in my diary and had fortunately replaced the book
and pen in my pocket I felt sleepy. The Count's warning came into my
mind, but I took a pleasure in disobeying it. The sense of sleep was
upon me, and with it the obstinacy which sleep brings as outrider. The
soft moonlight soothed, and the wide expanse without gave a sense of
freedom which refreshed me. I determined not to return to-night to the
gloom-haunted rooms, but to sleep here, where of old ladies had sat
and sung and lived sweet lives whilst their gentle breasts were sad
for their menfolk away in the midst of remorseless wars. I drew a
great couch out of its place near the corner, so that, as I lay, I
could look at the lovely view to east and south, and unthinking of and
uncaring for the dust, composed myself for sleep. I suppose I must
have fallen asleep; I hope so, but I fear, for all that followed was
startlingly real- so real that now sitting here in the broad, full
sunlight of the morning, I cannot in the least believe that it was all
sleep.
  I was not alone. The room was the same, unchanged in any way since I
came into it; I could see along the floor, in the brilliant moonlight,
my own footsteps marked where I had disturbed the long accumulation of
dust. In the moonlight opposite me were three young women, ladies by
their dress and manner. I thought at the time that I must be
dreaming when I saw them, for, though the moonlight was behind them,
they threw no shadow on the floor. They came close to me and looked at
me for some time, and then whispered together. Two were dark, and
had high aquiline noses, like the Count, and great dark, piercing
eyes, that seemed to be almost red when contrasted with the pale
yellow moon. The other was fair, as fair as can be, with great wavy
masses of golden hair and eyes like pale sapphires. I seemed somehow
to know her face, and to know it in connection with some dreamy
fear, but I could not recollect at the moment how or where. All
three had brilliant white teeth, that shone like pearls against the
ruby of their voluptuous lips. There was something about them that
made me uneasy, some longing and at the same time some deadly fear.
I felt in my heart a wicked, burning desire that they would kiss me
with those red lips. It is not good to note this down, lest some day
it should meet Mina's eyes and cause her pain; but it is the truth.
They whispered together, and then they all three laughed- such a
silvery, musical laugh, but as hard as though the sound never could
have come through the softness of human lips. It was like the
intolerable, tingling sweetness of water-glasses when played on by a
cunning hand. The fair girl shook her head coquettishly, and the other
two urged her on. One said:-
  "Go on! You are first, and we shall follow; yours is the right to
begin." The other added:-
  "He is young and strong; there are kisses for us all." I lay
quiet, looking out under my eyelashes in an agony of delightful
anticipation. The fair girl advanced and bent over me till I could
feel the movement of her breath upon me. Sweet it was in one sense,
honey-sweet, and sent the same tingling through the nerves as her
voice, but with a bitter underlying the sweet, a bitter offensiveness,
as one smells in blood.
  I was afraid to raise my eyelids, but looked out and saw perfectly
under the lashes. The girl went on her knees, and bent over me, simply
gloating. There was a deliberate voluptuousness which was both
thrilling and repulsive, and as she arched her neck she actually
licked her lips like an animal, till I could see in the moonlight
the moisture shining on the scarlet lips and on the red tongue as it
lapped the white sharp teeth. Lower and lower went her head as the
lips went below the range of my mouth and chin and seemed about to
fasten on my throat. Then she paused, and I could hear the churning
sound of her tongue as it licked her teeth and lips, and could feel
the hot breath on my neck. Then the skin of my throat began to
tingle as one's flesh does when the hand that is to tickle it
approaches nearer- nearer. I could feel the soft, shivering touch of
the lips on the super-sensitive skin of my throat, and the hard
dents of two sharp teeth, just touching and pausing there. I closed my
eyes in a languorous ecstasy and waited- waited with beating heart.
  But at that instant another sensation swept through me as quick as
lightning. I was conscious of the presence of the Count, and of his
being as if lapped in a storm of fury. As my eyes opened involuntarily
I saw his strong hand grasp the slender neck of the fair woman and
with giant's power draw it back, the blue eyes transformed with
fury, the white teeth champing with rage, and the fair cheeks
blazing red with passion. But the Count! Never did I imagine such
wrath and fury, even to the demons of the pit. His eyes were
positively blazing. The red light in them was lurid, as if the
flames of hell-fire blazed behind them. His face was deathly pale, and
the lines of it were hard like drawn wires; the thick eyebrows that
met over the nose now seemed like a heaving bar of white-hot metal.
With a fierce sweep of his arm, he hurled the woman from him, and then
motioned to the others, as though he were beating them back; it was
the same imperious gesture that I had seen used to the wolves. In a
voice which, though low and almost in a whisper seemed to cut
through the air and then ring round the room as he said:-
  "How dare you touch him, any of you? How dare you cast eyes on him
when I had forbidden it? Back, I tell you all! This man belongs to me!
Beware how you meddle with him, or you'll have to deal with me." The
fair girl, with a laugh of ribald coquetry, turned to answer him:-
  "You yourself never loved; you never love!" On this the other
women joined, and such a mirthless, hard, soulless laughter rang
through the room that it almost made me faint to hear; it seemed
like the pleasure of fiends. Then the Count turned, after looking at
my face attentively, and said in a soft whisper:
  "Yes, I too can love; you yourselves can tell it from the past. Is
it not so? Well, now I promise you that when I am done with him you
shall kiss him at your will. Now go! go! I must awaken him, for
there is work to be done."
  "Are we to have nothing to-night?" said one of them, with a low
laugh, as she pointed to the bag which he had thrown upon the floor,
and which moved as though there were some living thing within it.
For answer he nodded his head. One of the women jumped forward and
opened it. If my ears did not deceive me there was a gasp and a low
wall, as of a half-smothered child. The women closed round, whilst I
was aghast with horror; but as I looked they disappeared, and with
them the dreadful bag. There was no door near them, and they could not
have passed me without my noticing. They simply seemed to fade into
the rays of the moonlight and pass out through the window, for I could
see outside the dim, shadowy forms for a moment before they entirely
faded away.
  "Then the horror overcame me, and I sank down unconscious."
 

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